Genericide

There was an article in the Post on Saturday discussing how the word "Google" has become mainstream enough to appear in print dictionaries and be used as a regular verb . I know that I've used the word as a verb many a time, and hear it daily in conversation. Apparently Google doesn't like it though, as the Post received a cease-and-desist letter, saying that it's an example of genericide. This term sounds much more ominous than it should and brings to mind the complete destruction of all generic grocery store brands, but it just refers to turning a trademark into a generic English word.

The best part of Google's letter to the Post was that they included examples of how best to use the word Google in daily conversation and print:

Appropriate: He ego-surfs on the Google search engine to see if he's listed in the results.
Inappropriate: He googles himself.

Appropriate: I ran a Google search to check out that guy from the party.
Inappropriate: I googled that hottie.

This sounds like a life lesson we could all stand to learn, a maxim that could appear in any fortune cookie: It is always inappropriate to google the hottie. But it also seems like overkill on Google's part. If I had a hot product and it suddenly became part of the vernacular, I would promote it as much as possible. Like soda versus pop versus coke, it gives a level of product recognition that you really can't buy.

The only part I'm missing from my plan to subvert the English language is a product worthy of the term, Uri, that can be used, consumed, or interacted with on a daily basis. Search engines are pretty much covered, so maybe I could make a toaster that uris the bread, or patent a new method of doing laundry and uri your panties. If I plan far enough ahead, maybe I can even set up some racy situations where I can uri some hotties! Any suggestions?