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  1. Tuesday, April 14, 2009:
    Newsday Tuesday   Obama looking at cooling air to fight warming            Tinkering with Earth's climate to chill runaway global warming — a radical idea once dismissed out of hand — is being discussed by the White House as a potential emergency option, the president's new science adviser said Wednesday. That's because global warming is happening so rapidly, John Holdren told The Associated Press.     In fact, global warming is o...
  2. Thursday, March 26, 2009:
    List Day: Ten Rejected Wedding Ideas    1)  Save-the-Date announcements will take the form of one hundred individually tattooed gerbils, boxed and delivered by First Class Mail. We take no responsibility for the (permanent) settling which may occur in boxes delivered to a destination more than two days away.    2)  Invitations will be printed on 100% recycled post-consumer content, taken directly from the nearest Loudoun County septic tank.    3)  We will be register...
  3. Tuesday, February 17, 2009:
    Newsday Tuesday   HOV Cheaters Run the Numbers            HOV cheaters have a special, and dark, place in the hearts of area commuters. As motorists sit in stop-and-go traffic or pick up strangers to meet the minimum number of riders to use the free-flowing HOV lanes, cheaters blithely fly by in the restricted lanes. Alone.     "Sometimes when you commute, you do some crazy, crazy things when you see all those red lights in front ...
  4. Thursday, February 05, 2009:
    Review Day: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull   there is nothing worth spoiling in this movie    This movie did not need to be made.     I never had a compelling urge to watch it, but after borrowing it for free from my parents and leaving it on my shelf, unwatched, for two months, I finally put it on in the background while I worked on my Wiki.   I'm still not exactly sure what the plot of this movie was, because it jumps from inexplicable situation to inexplicable situation like a ...
  5. Wednesday, January 21, 2009:
    LOST Recap Day   this post contains spoilers from last season's LOST finale    The fifth season of LOST begins tonight at 8, and it's hard to believe that almost eight months have passed since the last one ended. If you find yourself blurry on the details of the fourth season, you should start with my old  LOLLOST  feature, before catching up on the final two-hour episode below.        As a tribute to Charlie Pace, Jin and Michael blow up ...
  6. Wednesday, January 14, 2009:
    Caption Day   recent highlights from rounds of The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Game          "Your husband said you never did the laundry and you were kind of a slut."         "Sorry Snoop, I just don't think the new desk is me."  "Cancel the next diversity meeting!"  "I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanted to be one of the gang."              "This j...
  7. Tuesday, November 11, 2008:
    Newsday Tuesday    T-Pain Cranks Out Hits Thanks to Auto-Tune Software        T -Pain is tired of hearing the sound of his own, heavily processed voice. Actually, the Tallahassee hip-hop star is tired of hearing everybody else simulating the sound of his synthesized voice -- the one that's run through a software program called Auto-Tune for a giddy effect that makes him (and them) sound like a singing cyborg.    I have always been of the opinion...
  8. Monday, October 06, 2008:
    Weekend Wrap-up  Saturday, October 4th, was Poker Night.     Early in the game, a four-of-a-kind appeared on the table. This was followed by a straight flush -- Seven of Hearts through Jack of Hearts (and someone else also had the Six of Hearts). This is the sort of magic that happens when I move poker upstairs into the kitchen for the winter months when the basement is chilly. Hearts was pretty much the only suit to appear on the board after that.   After three people were ou...
  9. Tuesday, September 30, 2008:
    Newsday Tuesday   Mama's milk ice cream cone, anyone?          People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is asking [Ben & Jerry's] to begin using breast milk in its products instead of cow's milk, saying it would reduce the suffering of cows and calves and give ice cream lovers a healthier product.    Old readers might also remember the time  PETA tried to convince the Boy Scouts to ban the Fishing merit badge  because it results...
  10. Tuesday, September 09, 2008:
    Newsday Tuesday   Spies get social network as CIA, FBI promote their version of Facebook         At long last, US intelligence agencies have created a new system of sharing their information with one another to prevent another terrorist attack. And it's a lot like Facebook.    Developers were quick to point out that their network would be based on the useful "classic" Facebook, and not the usability-inhibited patchwork of coloured squares and ad...
  11. Tuesday, July 29, 2008:
    Ethics Day  As part of an annual recertification at work, every employee must take an online course in Business Ethics. Because the denizens of the URI! Zone are a shady bunch, these highlights might be helpful in your own lives.       Socially aware customers are generally white, blonde, female, and braless (which raises two other ethical points, but only when it's cold outside).      Mimi is obviously more concerned with the fact that ...
  12. Thursday, May 29, 2008:
    LOST Recap Day   this post contains spoilers from previously-aired episodes of LOST (season four)   With so many complex timelines and unsolved mysteries, it's often difficult to keep track of everything that has happened so far on LOST. As a public service, here is a summary of the most important plot developments from this season so you are prepared for the upcoming season finale. A special LOLCAT format has been used for ease of understanding.   Episode 1: The Beginni...
  13. Tuesday, May 20, 2008:
    Newsday Tuesday   Robot digger set to land Sunday at Martian pole       Like a miner prospecting for gold, NASA hopes its latest robot to Mars hits pay dirt when it lands Sunday near the red planet's north pole to conduct a 90-day digging mission. The three-legged Phoenix Mars lander . . . is zeroing in on the unexplored arctic region where a reservoir of ice is believed to lie beneath the Martian surface.   To be clear, the article is not saying Phoenix is...
  14. Tuesday, February 26, 2008:
    Newsday Tuesday    Plan for Telescopes on Moon's Far Side Is Revived        With NASA planning to send astronauts back to the moon sometime after 2019, those dreams of a radio telescope looking out through the galaxies from the protected side of the moon have been revived. The agency recently awarded two planning grants for research on the necessary technologies and on how to put them in place.    Long time readers of the URI! Zone will recal...
  15. Tuesday, August 14, 2007:
    Newsday Tuesday   Facebook pages concern parents of college freshmen       As housing officials at colleges around the country send out roommate assignments to freshmen this summer, a growing number of schools say they're getting more requests for changes -- from parents who don't like the roommates' Facebook profiles.   It looks like the "helicopter parents" have gained one more weapon in their quest to completely envelope their offspring in a protect...
  16. Tuesday, July 10, 2007:
    Newsday Tuesday   An Underwater Fence to Stop Invasive Species       Engineers are attempting to block the spread of invasive exotic fish by establishing an electrical barrier on the canal linking Lake Michigan to the Illinois River. Four species of Asian carp are spreading north up the river; a non-indigenous goby is attempting a move south down the canal.   It seems like every contemporary environmental fix-it program is just a weak band-aid for some...
  17. Tuesday, June 26, 2007:
    Newsday Tuesday   Dust Settled, Drivers Still Get Dizzy in Mixing Bowl       An article in yesterday's Post reported that major construction work on the $676 million Mixing Bowl project in northern Virginia has been completed. The treacherous throbbing ulcer where Interstates 95, 395, and 495, and numerous local roads converge now flows much more freely than before. However, there are early indications that all is not well in the land of poorly chosen cooking analogi...
  18. Monday, February 26, 2007:
      Don't forget -- the deadline for the "Write My Lyrics" contest     is Sunday the 4th!     Sign Day     After many years of loyal service, the ubiquitous Radiation Warning Sign (seen on everything from Doc Brown's stolen Plutonium to the small print on Hot Pockets sleeves) has been updated. Five years of focus groups in eleven different countries led the International Atomic Energy Agency to the underwhelming design shown below. O...
  19. Thursday, February 01, 2007:
    Musical Patriotism Day  There was an article in the Post yesterday about Virginia's revived interest in picking a new state song that doesn't offensively talk about darkies   . The last time they tried to pick one, the committee could not reach a consensus on any of the finalists' songs -- and now our poor state has been tuneless for almost seven years. We at the URI! Zone consider this to be a travesty of the second highest order, and hypothesize that it could not  possibly  take almost ...
  20. Wednesday, November 02, 2005:
      In an effort to muddle up the more salient issues by introducing several new ones, President Bush has requested $7.1 billion in emergency funding to combat the possible bird flu pandemic which has been rumoured to be lurking in the shadows for several years now. After ten minutes of giving shout-outs to his dogs (but no nominations this time around), Bush gave a doomsday speech at the NIH which sounded vaguely familiar    . Some conspiracy theorists note that the speec...
  21. Tuesday, October 25, 2005:
      Like four sticks of dynamite in a placid Oklahoma pond, the music world was rocked on its foundations on October 25, 1981, with the birth of Anna Marie Spellerberg. In her formative years, this future Grammy-winning diva was best known for being a part-time music major at Virginia Tech and performed various unplugged duets with cats on the Vaudeville circuit   (2MB WMV). As a child, she often dreamed of making it big, and possibly transitioning from music into showbiz, starring ...
  22. Wednesday, August 10, 2005:
      In my lifetime, a new type of store has gained prominence: the store with everything you never needed. You walk into one of these bazaars to discover things you never knew existed but which you can't possibly live without. A case in point is the squat metal box currently anchored to the side of my cabinet which I found at Bed, Bath, and Beyond for a mere ten dollars. You can stuff it full of plastic bags after you're done unpacking groceries, and then you take them out the side whene...
  23. Thursday, July 14, 2005:
     I read a story in the Washington Post a couple days ago that mentioned Herndon's continued efforts to regulate or do away with the sites where day laborers meet for jobs    . Herndon and the proposed sites are literally right down the street from me. While I can see where the opponents are coming from, I think I see a few flaws in their logic:   "At the 7-Eleven, it's an eyesore [...] Not too many people go to that 7-Eleven anymore . . . and now they want to ...
 

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